


When The Sand Runs Out

by sapphire_child



Category: Lost
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Episode: s03e06 I Do, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-25
Updated: 2006-12-25
Packaged: 2019-01-10 15:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12302529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire_child/pseuds/sapphire_child
Summary: Charlie regrets his decision to not go on the hike to find Eko when the team returns without the holy man and they confirm his worst fears.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Dedication:** to all of you who read and review – and especially those who concrit me! And to all my fanfiction writing buddies – you’re all in deservance of a very big, very shiny gold star.  
>  **Authors Note:** I’ve been TERRIBLE. I haven’t posted any fanfiction in close to a month but I do blame my muse for this, she’s a nasty piece of work and has been writing too much Domilie fic instead. I think she’s just being lazy generally. Anyway- I hope you enjoy this, my first fanfiction in a long time! Hopefully I’ll have some new stuff up soon!

Claire was surprised to say the least that Charlie didn’t volunteer to go on the hike – usually he was raring to join in on whatever the latest crusade the survivors had going might be. Today however he seemed quite content to potter about after Claire and Aaron wherever they went, simply enjoying the day like he had all the time in the world.

‘Why didn’t you go on the hike with the others?’ she asked nonchalantly over their meagre lunch of fruit and a small fish which Charlie had proudly caught and cleaned himself that morning while Claire and Aaron had watched, laughing, from the shore.

Charlie shrugged, licking his fingers clean. ‘I can think of better things to occupy my day with – like spending time with you and the baby. _And_ eating this bloody marvellous fish I caught.’ He waved a piece of said fish at Claire to accent his point. ‘I’ll bet _they_ aren’t dining on fresh fish for lunch are they? Poor buggers don’t know what they’re missing out on.’

Claire smiled at Charlie and his pride in his fishing skills but her attention swiftly moved onto the massive pile of washing in the corner of the tent that she had to do that day or risk running out of clean clothes. Charlie’s eyes followed the direction hers were pointing in an instant and he began to tut disapprovingly. ‘You’re not seriously thinking about doing laundry on a day like today are you?’

‘Well it’s either that or I go naked,’ Claire said defensively. Charlie’s eyes twinkled mischievously at this and Claire reached over to hit him on the shoulder in mock anger.

‘Well that’s just one more good reason for me to drag you off down the beach for a walk then isn’t it?’ Charlie said, grinning and pulling himself to his feet, brushing crumbs out of his beard. Claire peered up at him from her seat on the ground, her hands still full of fish, and she hesitated. Charlie’s grin faltered slightly. ‘Come on Claire – when was the last time we actually had the time to take a walk together?’

Claire chewed her lip as Charlie gazed imploringly at her.

‘Please?’

Claire sighed a little as she nodded, cramming the last of the fish in her mouth as Charlie rummaged for Aaron’s Bjorn, grinning triumphantly. When he offered it to her however, she shook her head.

‘We’re…not taking Aaron?’ Charlie guessed.

‘No,’ Claire took the Bjorn from Charlie, reaching around his neck to fasten it securely. _‘You’re_ taking Aaron and giving my back a chance to rest up a bit.’

Charlie stared at her, his mouth slightly open as she picked her son up and placed him snugly inside the Bjorn. ‘Are…you’re sure?’

Claire adjusted the Bjorn slightly to make sure Aaron was well and truly settled and then glanced back up to Charlie’s eyes. ‘Come on Charlie – we’ll be here all afternoon if you keep asking me questions.’

Claire grinned secretly to herself as she set off down the beach, Charlie following at a careful trot until he drew level and caught her hand in his. In her peripheral vision she could see the broad grin on his face and she tried not to smile herself as he swung their hands back and forth cheerfully.

She had the feeling that she had just made Charlie’s day.

~*~

The afternoon passed uneventfully. The team still hadn’t returned by the time the sun was starting to set but Charlie seemed supremely unconcerned with this fact, opting to keep himself busy with anything he could get his hands on. It wasn’t until he started fiddling with Claire’s tarp and began shifting her table around that she began to think that perhaps Charlie really _was_ worried but just didn’t want to say it. He’d always been fidgety but this was becoming ridiculous.

‘Charlie?’

‘Hmmn?’ he glanced up from scrutinising Aaron’s cradle and immediately averted his eyes when he realised that Claire was breastfeeding as she spoke to him, Aaron’s face and her own breast being surreptitiously covered by a blanket.

‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine,’ Charlie shrugged. ‘Why?’

‘Um…’ Claire cleared her throat. ‘Because you’re uh, you’re rearranging the furniture.’

Charlie froze and then his eyes came up to meet hers, a somewhat sheepish look on his face. ‘I am?’

Claire tried not to smile. ‘Yes Charlie, you are.’

Charlie shrugged suddenly and stood up, gazing out towards the ocean, his arms folded across his stomach. ‘I guess I’m just not used to staying behind. And I am worried about Eko – he’s been really out of it since John and I rescued him from the Polar Bear.’

Claire’s brow furrowed as she set about fixing her top, Aaron having finished feeding now. _‘Polar Bear?’_

Charlie glanced back at her, surprised. ‘Did you not ever hear about the Polar Bears?’

‘Um…no?’

‘Oh.’ Charlie scratched his head sheepishly. ‘Well there are Polar Bears here on the island. Sawyer shot one when we first got here and Eko got dragged off by one too.’

Claire stared. ‘You’re pulling my leg right?’

Charlie grimaced. ‘Wish I was love. But then Polar Bears are the least of our worries with that black smoke monster that chews people up and the Others kidnapping our doctor and the crazy French lady and the weather and every bloody thing else here.’

Claire laughed. ‘It’s not that bad.’

‘Sure it is,’ Charlie sat down beside her, dropping a gentle kiss on her lips. When he drew back, he ran a hand over Aaron’s downy head and looked earnestly at her. ‘But some things make it worthwhile.’

Claire felt herself smile widely as she leant forward to kiss him back. Charlie responded gently to her affections, tangling his hand in her hair as she deepened the kiss slightly.

When they parted, Claire sighed contentedly and then ruefully eyed her washing. ‘I think I’m going to make a start on my washing – it probably won’t dry completely overnight but its better than getting up at the crack of dawn to do it. Is there anything you want washed?’

Charlie shook his head. ‘Thanks but I think I’m good. What are you going to do with Aaron?’

‘Can you put him down for a nap for me?’ Claire asked, offering Charlie the bundle in her arms. ‘I won’t be far away…’

‘Yeah, course,’ Charlie took him gratefully and his face split into a proud smile as he began to rock the child from side to side. Claire glanced over at him as she collected her washing in a metal bucket and couldn’t help but smile too.

‘You really missed him didn’t you?’

Charlie looked up at her and she thought that his face might just split in half from smiling. ‘Yeah I did.’

As she scrubbed her clothes in the nearest water collector, Claire glanced back over at Charlie as he put her son to sleep, completely oblivious to everything around him except the tiny form in his arms. A deep feeling of contentment was growing inside her and Claire wondered why it was always Charlie who seemed to give her that fuzzy maternal feeling.

Today was the first day since she’d kissed him, since she’d let him back into her life that she’d let him take care of Aaron and she felt glad she had – if for nothing else than for the smile on his face. He hadn’t had cause to smile for a long while now and whilst it had undoubtedly been her fault, Claire felt it was justified.

A month ago she hadn’t been smiling much either.

A movement out of the corner of her eye drew her attention and Claire perked up considerably when she saw a small huddle of figures appearing out of the darkening trees.

‘Charlie,’ she called and he straightened up from putting Aaron in his cradle.

‘What?’

Claire pointed. ‘The teams back.’

Charlie craned his neck as he walked several steps closer to Claire, his hand going to her waist in an almost unconscious gesture. ‘So they are. I wonder where Eko and John and Sayid are though...’ He glanced over at Aaron, back at Claire and then brought his gaze to the returning party and then back to her son again. Claire smiled at him – trying not to laugh at his obvious distress. ‘You go. I’ll keep an eye on Aaron till you get back and then you can come back and tell me everything.’

Charlie nodded and smiled in silent thanks before hurrying off towards the jungle in the late afternoon sunlight. Claire picked up her bucket of washing and returned to her shelter. It really was getting too late for washing anyway. And it looked like it was going to be a cold night anyway – not the best conditions for drying wet clothes in in.

After a quick glance at Aaron assured her was still napping, Claire sat down and looked over at where Charlie was now talking to Desmond who seemed to be shaking his head. Peering a little closer, Claire saw to her surprise that Nikki looked like she crying and Paulo had put an awkward arm around her shoulders.

When Charlie began yelling, Claire’s eyes snapped back to him instantly. Although she couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying, he looked furious. His whole demeanour changed however, when Desmond pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to him. He froze still, looking completely shell shocked as Desmond turned and walked away rather abruptly. Nikki and Paulo peeled off in the complete opposite direction, their faces cast down and Charlie turned back in the direction of Claire’s tent on tottery legs.

What made her go to him Claire would never know. Leaving Aaron in his cradle and trusting her instincts that he would be all right, she jogged up to where Charlie stood staring blankly at nothing. He didn’t respond when she called his name and it wasn’t until she touched his shoulder that he even registered that she was there.

‘Charlie,’ she looked up into his face, her stomach clenching at the expression on his face. ‘What’s wrong?’

Charlie licked his lips and took along, shaky breath before answering. Even so, his voice cracked when he spoke.

‘He’s dead Claire.’

Claire rocked back like she’d just been hit in the face with a bag of wet cement.

_‘What?’_

‘John told them he must’ve been killed by an animal or something,’ Charlie continued blankly. ‘Which is impossible because…he…he can’t…’

Without another word, he began to walk, Claire following several worried steps behind. For a moment Claire thought he was heading for the ocean but even if he was, he never made it to the water. Just as he passed through her tent, his knees buckled and he grabbed at the nearest solid object to support himself – in this instance it happened to be the edge of Claire’s bed.

‘Charlie!’ Claire fairly flew to his side and, when trying to pull him to his feet proved to be a fruitless exercise, she allowed him to collapse completely, his face bare inches from the sand and his legs curled uncomfortably underneath him.

‘I think I’m going to be sick…’ Charlie gasped, and indeed, his body began to buck and contract like he was about to throw up. Claire began to rub small circles on his back but instead of vomiting as he had predicted, Charlie began to sob. His whole body juddered uncontrollably as he tried to stop himself, soft cries ebbing from his mouth as his tears began to fall.

Claire almost choked at the sight – she’d _never_ seen Charlie like this before. It was highly unusual for him to display a strong outpouring of unchecked emotion – usually he chose to hide behind his humour, the strongest defence mechanism he knew. It was hardly believable that only five minutes ago they had been talking and laughing together and now they were crumpled in the sand together, sharing a sudden grief that knew no bounds.

Despite her best efforts to stay upright and strong on his behalf, Claire found her own tears starting to fall – Charlie’s grief was far too overpowering to not affect her. Even Aaron had woken up and was warbling worriedly from his crib. She shushed him from a distance and the sound of her voice seemed to calm him slightly although he continued to whimper quietly as Charlie finally began to master his emotions.

Eyes shut against the tears that were burning down his face, he took a half dozen slow breaths before opening them again and turning his face to chance a look at Claire.

‘I’m sorry…’ he whispered. ‘I’m so sorry to do that to you…’

Claire bit her lip, still trying to hold her own tears back without much success. ‘It’s okay. I’m okay Charlie.’

‘No,’ he grimly reached out a hand to brush her tears away, his eyes were red rimmed already and hers weren’t far behind. ‘You’re not okay and it’s because of me and I’m sorry.’

‘Here,’ Claire said, changing the subject. ‘Why don’t we just sit?’ she guided Charlie to a seated position, his back leaning against her bed, before she joined him. All the power seemed to have gone out of his limbs so she put her arms around his shoulders instead. It seemed to have the opposite response to the one she was looking for however – he began to cry again.

‘Shh,’ she murmured, pressing her lips to the side of his face. ‘It’s okay.’

Charlie shook his head and words began to bubble out of his mouth, uncontrolled and punctuated with sobs. ‘Th-they b-b-buried him out there – out in the – out in the jungle where he died.’

Claire nodded as his voice trailed away into a shuddering sigh and then he brought his fisted right hand up to his face. Claire watched curiously as he kissed the back of his own fingers before opening his palm to show her the contents.

A silver cross glinted dully against his palm, a twisted piece of leather threaded through the ring at the top. Claire’s breath caught in her throat with recognition.

‘Eko’s cross.’

‘John said to give it to me,’ Charlie whispered. ‘To remember him by I guess. He knew we got pretty close…building the church you know?’

Claire nodded again and reached out to touch the cross with her fingertips feeling an inexplicable sadness welling up inside her. She hadn’t known Eko very well – certainly not as well as Charlie had. The two of them seemed inextricably linked by their faith. Despite effectively being the one who had ratted on Charlie’s secret to Claire, Eko was still rewarded with respect, with friendship and an endless loyalty.

‘You know I blamed him?’ Charlie whispered suddenly and Claire was startled out of her thoughts.

‘What?’

‘Eko,’ Charlie said, still whispering although his voice had stopped shaking and his tears had stilled. ‘I blamed him for telling you about the statues. Only for a short while. I didn’t stay angry at him for long – I don’t know why. Maybe because I knew that really it was my own stupid fault.’

Claire was silent for a moment as Charlie leant his head on her shoulder, the occasional aftershock sob rippling through him and into her.

‘God I feel tired now.’

‘Well maybe you should try to sleep.’

Charlie shook his head vehemently and stood up decisively. ‘Tomorrow I’m going to go find his grave and I’m going to do my goodbyes properly. It’s not fair that they didn’t bring him back here so I could…’ he paused and rephrased himself here. ‘So we could _all_ say goodbye.’

Claire’s brow furrowed sadly and she stood as well, taking his hand in hers and squeezing gently. ‘Maybe they thought we’d had a few too many funerals lately. And it’s not like Eko’s a small man – it would have been hard to carry him all the way back here, especially if they were out quite far...’

Charlie gently pulled his hand out of her grasp and his anger seemed to dissipate as he turned to offer her a smile that came nowhere near to his eyes. ‘Yeah you’re probably right. Will you be okay? I might go play my guitar for a while or something.’

Claire nodded, rather taken aback at his sudden mood change. ‘Are sure you’re okay Charlie?’

Again he smiled, his eyes just as blank as before and he leant forward to press a gentle kiss to her forehead, lingering for a moment to breathe her in. ‘I’ll be fine love.’

And with that, Charlie disappeared, leaving nothing but a feeling of coldness in his wake. A sudden, particularly strong gust of wind blew down the beach and Claire shivered and reached for her bag.

It was definitely going to be a cold night.

[PART TWO](http://sapphire-child.livejournal.com/145675.html)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie regrets his decision to not go on the hike to find Eko when the team returns without the holy man and they confirm his worst fears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry! It might look really angsty now but it has a happy ending! I promise!

Since the hatch had exploded – for whatever reason – Charlie had not yet brought himself to spend the night with Claire and he was still sleeping in the flimsy shelter he had made for himself when she hadn’t been speaking to him. She had dropped a few hints that he was welcome to move back in but he was tentative in doing so although he wasn’t entirely sure why.  
  
Knowing his luck, somebody else would take over his shelter and then, next thing he could be out on his own again. Not that he thought that Claire was going to kick him out again – she had no reason to at present and their relationship seemed to be going nowhere but up.  
  
Which is why he was – understandably he thought – slightly paranoid about moving back in with her so to speak. The memory of Claire’s uncanny past ability to swing her emotions from fondness to anger within a day wasn’t helping convince him either.  
  
For once it was Charlie, not Claire who didn’t completely trust in their relationship.  
  
His shelter seemed even more depressingly dilapidated tonight, the tarpaulin was drooping particularly low in one corner but he couldn’t be bothered fixing it. His guitar wasn’t being very co-operative either – refusing to tune itself in for him enough to play even one song. After five minutes of fiddling with the pegs he gave up and cast it aside, snapping the case closed and resting his face against his knees.  
  
Eko was dead.  
  
The thought made him tremble all over again – even though the sobs that had nearly made him ill before had subsided long ago. The very thought seemed alien to him, let alone the concept that it was true. It was completely impossible. Eko? Dead? How the hell could this have happened?  
  
Charlie had seen a lot of strange things since he had crash landed on an island in the middle of nowhere. Even when he’d been well into the drugs he hadn’t seen nearly as much crazy shit as he had here in the past two and a half months. He hadn’t  _done_  nearly half as much weird shit back in the real world – and that was saying something.  
  
This entire island defied normal logic.  
  
Eko was dead.  
  
Mr Eko – was dead.  
  
 _Sodding bloody hell._  
  
Charlie sat up and wiped a hand over his face, surprised when it came away sopping wet. Apparently his tear ducts had been going for a while without him even realising. Letting out a shaky breath, he curled up on the cushions he used as a bed and wrapped his arms around his stomach, praying for sleep to take him quickly. His brain however, had different plans and was buzzing around like it was high on twenty cups of coffee.  
  
His face still felt wet, fresh tears turning cold on his cheeks when he finally dared to touch his face an indeterminate time later. Opening his eyes he saw that the sky had finally darkened – well he must have been lying here for a fair while then.  
  
He shut his eyes again, one hand reaching to his neck and gripping Eko’s cross in a tight fist. The feel of the metal, cool against his hand made him go shaky again and he brought his hand to his mouth, trying to stifle the sobs that were threatening him again.  
  
Charlie hadn’t grieved like this since his mother had died nearly two years ago, when he had been on tour with Driveshaft. At least then he’d had his drugs to help him cope with the pain – the suddenness of this death felt surprisingly raw in comparison to her long, drawn out struggle with cancer.  
  
The tears started again.  
  
He must have dozed off at some point because the next thing he was conscious of was the sound of someone padding through the sand towards him. He listened carefully to their footfalls in the sand but for the life of him couldn’t distinguish who it was between the sound of the wind and the crashing of the waves. He opened his eyes the barest fraction and saw a sideways view of a single pair of bare feet and knew instantly who it was.  
  
His visitor knelt down and placed a soft hand on his shoulder. Charlie squeezed his eyes shut as tight as they would go.  
  
 _Please don’t stay. Please don’t lie down with me and try to comfort me because I’m going to lose it if you do…_  
  
‘I know you’re awake.’ The visitor said softly, her voice almost lost in the night soundtrack surrounding them. ‘So don’t try to pretend like you’re not.’  
  
Charlie didn’t answer and his visitor touched his face, pressing gentle lips against his eyelids, the sensitive skin inflamed from all the salt.  
  
‘You aren’t okay. Are you?’  
  
Charlie shook his head, holding himself together – but just barely – as Claire lay down beside him and wrapped her arms around him. When he finally dared open his eyes it was to find her nose to nose with him and his tears surprisingly quiet.  
  
‘Where’s Aaron?’  
  
Claire kissed him gently before answering. ‘I asked Sun to watch him – just for tonight. I think you need me more than he does right now.’  
  
‘But what if something happens to him?’ Charlie instantly began to panic. ‘What if something happens and Sun doesn’t know what to do?’  
  
‘Then she’ll bring him back to me,’ Claire said, supremely calm. ‘You need me more than he does tonight.’  
  
Charlie swallowed nervously. ‘You shouldn’t compromise Aaron for me.’  
  
Claire frowned at him. ‘Charlie, I just told you that he doesn’t need me right now.’  
  
‘If he does need you…’  
  
‘Then Sun will bring him to me,’ Claire said, a strong tone of finality in her voice that Charlie could no more argue with than fly to the moon. ‘Now please stop arguing with me Charlie and try to sleep.’  
  
The two of them fell silent.  
  
Five minutes later Claire opened her eyes to find Charlie staring blankly ahead, his eyes sparkling with fresh, unshed tears.  
  
‘I’m sorry,’ he apologised. ‘I just…I’m not used to sleeping with somebody else.’  
  
Claire looked suitably upset at this but tried to hide her disappointment. ‘Would you rather I go?’  
  
‘No.’ he said quickly then added, a little slower. ‘Please, stay.’  
  
She readjusted herself more comfortably, pressing her face into his neck and Charlie finally moved to put his arms around her, his left hand resting lightly on her lower back.  
  
‘Night Charlie.’  
  
‘Night,’ he returned.  
  
~*~  
  
The sun rose early on the new day and Charlie was up with it. Having had less than four hours of restless sleep hadn’t agreed with him – the dark circles under his eyes were a testament to that – but at least it had given him adrenaline enough to go on a short hike.  
  
‘Desmond – I need you to take me to where Eko was buried.’  
  
The Scottish man was barely awake and fairly grumpy at being woken up when Charlie dragged him off to the jungle. As quickly as they filled up their drink bottles however, they still weren’t quick enough to beat Claire who confronted Charlie at the tree line, Aaron tucked into the Bjorn and a bag strapped to her back to balance out the weight.  
  
‘You’re not going to Eko’s grave without Aaron and me,’ she said, prodding him hard in the chest. ‘And don’t you dare start lecturing me about taking Aaron into the jungle because I  _swear_  to God I  _will_  hit you.’  
  
Charlie didn’t say a word, simply offered Claire his hand and she took it with a firm grasp that could have been mistaken for affection if the circumstances had been different.  
  
There was no talking as the three of them meandered through the jungle, Charlie holding Claire’s hand most of the way whilst Desmond lead, putting his inexpert tracking skills together with his own memories to find the way back. It took nearly two hours to reach their destination and by that time, Aaron had begun to fuss terribly and Claire had to nurse him in the relative privacy of the trees whilst Charlie and Desmond waited impatiently for her.  
  
‘Sorry,’ she apologised, her cheeks colouring as she came back, taking Charlie’s hand again. He squeezed it gratefully – thankful for the small comfort it offered.  
  
‘We almost there yet mate?’ Charlie asked.  
  
‘Yeah,’ Desmond pointed through the trees. ‘It’s just through there. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get us back to the beach again but at least we got here alright eh?’  
  
Charlie strode forwards and within seconds had the clearing in sight. The early sunlight was streaming down onto the crude grave through the trees, much like light coming in through stained glass windows in a church. Charlie nearly choked at the irony but managed to find his voice again. ‘You never told us why John and Sayid never came back yesterday.’  
  
Desmond shrugged as he walked. ‘Box man went a bit weird – I think he read something on the scripture stick, meant something to him – and he went off into the jungle and Sayid followed.’  
  
 _‘Box man?’_  Claire asked as they broke the cover of the trees.  
  
Desmond grinned at her as Charlie detached himself from Claire and walked slowly to the grave. ‘It’s what I call John. He used to work in a box factory – back in the real world.’  
  
Claire looked honestly surprised. ‘A box factory? I would have thought he’d have been a… well anything other than a box maker.’  
  
‘I’d’ve said taxidermist myself,’ Charlie called back over his shoulder mildly as he squatted down next to the grave and touched the rocks that the others had laid over the top of the disturbed soil.  
  
Claire came over quietly and joined him whilst Desmond hovered awkwardly behind them.  
  
‘I’ll leave you two to say your goodbyes yeah?’  
  
‘Thank you,’ Charlie murmured, his hand still worrying one of the rocks as his eyes roamed over the grave. ‘They used his scripture stick as a grave marker.’  
  
Claire was silent as Charlie slowly shifted his weight and sat down next to the grave, his legs crossed. She simply stood, Aaron quite silent in her arms. Charlie jumped when she began to speak.  
  
‘I feel pretty stupid talking to a pile of rocks but… knowing that you’re down there somewhere helps a little bit.  
  
‘I just really wanted to say thank you for everything you did for me – it may not have seemed like a lot at the time but I do appreciate everything. Thank you for baptising my son and for baptising me. I know that if anything happens to us now, wherever we end up, we’ll be together. And that’s a comforting thought even if the prospect of dying here, on this island, like you did is a scary one.  
  
‘Thank you for taking care of Charlie for me when I needed my space. I never told anyone but I was glad that he had someone looking out for him. I know that you two got close, building the church and all, and I know that he’ll miss you – probably a lot more than anyone else will.  
  
‘Rest in peace, Eko.’  
  
A long silence fell over the assembled and finally, Claire knelt down next to Charlie carefully.  
  
‘Are you going to say anything?’  
  
Charlie nodded, his face still and impassive, his eyes fixed on the grave. ‘Yeah I will but…I think I need to just need to sit here for a while – with him.’  
  
Beside him, Claire lowered her eyes and nodded. ‘How long will you need?’ Charlie saw her glance back up to the side of his face again in his peripheral vision, a quizzical expression on her face.  
  
Charlie shook his head. ‘I don’t know.’ Aaron warbled suddenly from within the Bjorn and he turned to Claire. ‘You should take Aaron back to the beach. I may be here a while yet and he’ll need a feed and a nap soon.’  
  
Claire’s face creased. ‘I’m not leaving you out here all alone!’ She said hotly. ‘What if you get lost on the way home? What if you get hurt? What if…’ she trailed off and then added, quietly but firmly, ‘We’re not going back to camp without you.’  
  
‘Claire,’ Charlie sighed and took one of her hands in his. ‘You’ve done more than enough for me. I just need some time alone now – just to wrap my brain around all of this. To pray that Eko gets up to heaven okay, to let him know that I’m going to finish the church for him, even if it takes me the next twenty bloody years...’  
  
Claire burst into tears at this last statement and Charlie wrapped his arms around her neck, pulling her close to him as his own tears started up again for the millionth time.  
  
Death had a strange habit, he had noticed, of either bringing people a lot closer together or an infinite distance apart. In this particular case, it had brought him and Claire crashing back together again to the point where he almost felt brave enough to suggest moving his things back into her tent when he returned to the beach.  
  
Almost.  
  
‘You need to look after your son,’ he murmured, drawing away to look her in the face. ‘You’ve done everything for me I could possibly ask for and now I’m asking you to just give me this chance to say my goodbyes in my own way, on my own terms.’  
  
Claire sniffed loudly, and finally nodded, wiping at her cheeks with the heel of her palm. ‘If you aren’t back at the camp by this afternoon I’ll be out here to get you and drag you home.’  
  
Charlie grinned. ‘I know. Don’t worry – I’ll be back by then.’  
  
Once Claire had explained the situation to Desmond she returned to the edge of the clearing. Charlie was still sitting next to the grave but he turned when she called his name.  
  
‘We’re going now,’ she called out to him and waved one of Aaron’s arms at him. ‘Say bye Aaron.’  
  
‘See you Turnip-head,’ Charlie waved back and smiled properly for the first time since the day before. ‘Take care of your mum for me.’  
  
Claire smiled at the old nickname and then sobered. ‘Don’t stay out here too long Charlie.’  
  
Charlie nodded at her. ‘Yeah. I know.’  
  
Claire nodded back and went to leave, hesitated and turned back to him. Charlie watched silently as she bit her lip, clearly wanting to say something but seemingly unable to.  
  
Finally, she gave in and mouthed something to him.  
  
Charlie frowned. ‘Sorry, what?’  
  
Claire bit her lip even more violently before calling softly out to him, across the clearing.  
  
‘Love you.’  
  
Charlie’s mouth fell open as Claire flashed him a final, rueful smile and turned swiftly to disappear into the jungle.  
  
Charlie stayed at the grave until the sun was at its zenith and then he finally stood, brushed the dirt off his jeans and began to make his way home.  
  
~*~  
  
The camp was quiet in the late afternoon when Charlie found his way back and made his way immediately to Claire’s tent, his stride purposeful. She was sitting down rocking Aaron’s cradle when he walked up but at the sound of his footfalls she automatically looked up and a wide smile crossed her face. A second later it faltered when she obviously realised that he was walking quickly for a reason that may or may not have been good.  
  
‘Charlie?’ she said, rising cautiously to her feet as he strode right inside her shelter and swerved around Aaron’s crib to reach her. ‘What’s wrong?’  
  
In answer, Charlie pulled her fully to her feet and then, without any warning, swung her into a dip and kissed her deeply. Claire went totally limp, pliant in his arms – it literally felt like she was  _melting_  into his embrace – her hands tangled limply around his neck.  
  
When he finally broke the kiss, Charlie’s lips lingered over hers as he spoke. ‘I’ve always wanted to do that to a girl,’ he admitted breathlessly and brought Claire upright again. ‘But I was always terrified that I’d drop them on their head.’  
  
Claire stared at Charlie, her mouth slightly agape. ‘I think,’ she managed to say in a tiny voice. ‘…I think my knees just dissolved.’  
  
Charlie’s face split into a wide grin. ‘Nice to know I’ve still got the charm thing down pat then.’  
  
Claire laughed quietly and then rested her hands on either side of his face tentatively.  
  
‘Are you okay?’  
  
Charlie nodded, his grin fading into a much smaller smile. ‘Yeah. Said my goodbyes, felt a whole lot better.’ He continued to speak, his voice tumbling over the words quickly to reach the conclusion of his speech all the quicker. ‘Did a bit of praying, a bit of crying – finished off my yearly quota of tears while I was at it. I don’t think I’m…quite over it all yet – grieving is a bloody messy process, I’ll probably end up crying my eyes out again over him at some point in the near distant future but I’m okay for now. And,’ he said, clearly enjoying what he was about to say. ‘I thought I’d better come back and tell you – that I love you too.’  
  
Claire’s cheeks coloured instantly and she averted her eyes. ‘So you did hear me then?’  
  
Charlie nodded, trying not to grin. ‘Yep.’  
  
‘I wasn’t sure how you’d react,’ Claire murmured, her eyes flickering from a point somewhere over Charlie’s shoulder and then back to his eyes. ‘That’s why I kind of…ran off after I said it.’  
  
Charlie leant forward, very slowly, very deliberately, and kissed her softly.  
  
‘You don’t need to run away Claire,’ he whispered, pulling back just enough to speak, his lips still brushing hers with every word. ‘You don’t have to be scared of loving me.’  
  
Claire smiled against his lips and the sensation made him smile too.  
  
‘I’m not scared of loving you Charlie. Not anymore.’


End file.
